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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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In the three years up to 2007 violent crimes committed by young people rose by nearly 40 per cent from just over 40,000 offences in 2003-04 to more than 56,000 in 2006-07. Yet the numbers sent to custody are relatively low. From over 50,000 crimes, less than three thousand 10- to 17-year-olds are locked up in children's homes, secure training centres or young offender institutions.
 
And Frances Done, the new £85,000-a-year head of the government's Youth Justice Board, wants to cut that number even more.
 
She says that only 6 per cent of youngsters sentenced by the courts end up in custody, and that she is determined to 'drive the numbers down' further. She wants the courts to hand out more community punishments, and for problem children to be sent to "intensive fostering" instead, despite huge public concern over teenage violence in the wake of a string of fatal stabbings and other dreadful crimes - only today newspapers carried reports that a 15-year-old girl has been doused in petrol and set alight because she was alleged to have kissed the wrong boy.
 
Under the "intensive fostering" régime, a support team is employed to work with an offender and their family for a year. Mrs Done said: "They've never had boundaries in their lives, they've had chaotic existences. They have to learn to get up, they have to learn to eat properly, they have to learn to do things at a time which has been agreed with their carer. It's a very rigorous régime."
 
It's evident that Mrs.Done is a caring, sharing, thoughtful and mumsy person who has only the best interests of the poor little kiddy-widdies at heart but predictably, opposition spokesmen were scathing. Tory Nick Herbert said: "While ministers advocate tougher sentencing on knife crime, their officials are urging that fewer juveniles are given custodial terms. Once again we see a totally incoherent approach to criminal justice policy from this Government. It is precisely this failure of planning and direction which has led to overcrowded prisons and hopelessly mixed messages being sent to criminals. We need robust community penalties to arrest the escalation of youth crime but we also need effective regimes to rehabilitate those offenders who have to be held in custody. Currently we have neither."
 
We totally agree with Mrs.Done who, it is rumoured, recently turned down the chance of a part as a hobbit-woman in the forthcoming movie. There is no question that young people need boundaries in their lives to bring order and control to their chaotic existences. They certainly do need to learn to get up, they need to learn to eat properly, they need to learn to do things in an orderly, planned fashion. They could get all those things in a young offenders institution, of course, preferably at the hands of a team of very large ex-servicemen, but no doubt the little darlings will learn even quicker in their own homes under the fluffy, caring eye of a social worker.
 
Of course, there are lots of other people in our society who have needs as well, and I hope Mrs.Done and her colleagues are thinking of them too. There are all the cancer sufferers who need drugs that will actually prolong their lives, although of course it would be more convenient for the NHS if they just behaved themselves and died quietly.
 
There are all the elderly people who need somewhere to live and be looked after when they can no longer fend for themselves. There are all the expectant mothers who need to be sure that when they turn up in labour, the hospital won't decide it's too busy and turn them away. There are all the sick people who need a hospital bed, and proper nursing, and an operation they don't have to wait three years for and then give up and pay to have it done in India. There are all the rather less seriously ill people who would like to be able to see a GP who at least knows their name.
 
There are all the thousands of children who don't keep sticking knives into each other or setting themselves alight. They need a decent education, and they aren't getting it. They need to take examinations that actually mean something to a prospective employer. They need skills and factual knowledge, and when the world is full of non-caring, non-sharing, non-environmentally-aware, callous, competitive Indians, Chinese, Poles etc. who can run rings round the rest of us when it comes to qualifications and proper training, then "being in touch with their own feelings and the susceptibilities of others" just doesn't cut it.
 
And the rest of us? We just need our bins emptying at regular intervals, please, and we don't need petty officials rooting around in our rubbish or threatening us. And we need to be able to walk down the High Street without someone taking pictures of us at every third step. We need trains that run on time. Or just trains that run would be good.
 
We need to feel that the police are there to protect us and ensure that we can go about our lawful activities unhindered. We don't need to feel that we have to keep looking over our shoulders in case we might be doing something wrong, we don't need to keep our children indoors because the police don't like them playing in the street, we don't need to know that if someone attacks or robs us the law will support their right to do so and that we run the risk of being prosecuted ourselves if we resist.
 
You see, Mrs.Done? We've barely scratched the surface, but I know you're a busy lady and don't have time to read all our irrelevant meanderings! Anyway, full marks for caring and having at heart the best interests of your young charges - although you're being rather well paid for it, aren't you?
 
But so long as the rest of us have such pressing needs of our own that remain un-met, we find it difficult to give a toss about these little sh*ts. We'll start caring about them when they start caring about us. You may be able to afford the luxury of a bleeding heart, at the taxpayer's expense. We can't.
 
Wanker.
 

 

 
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